DO I PASS?

Do I pass?

If You're like me that question intrigues you. I will try to

to

describe in this article a recent experiment I performed to an- swer that question. Let me warn you first though. We transvestites spend much of our energy engaging in fantasies. That's understandable and wise. We are much less likely get in trouble if we keep the activities safely locked inside our heads. However some of us cannot quite keep it there. I will describe a day of reality here and not everything came out exactly as the fantasy would write it. It wasn't permanently disastrous and I think there were some valuable lessons learn- ed which may be of interest to others.

By way of background, a few words about me may be order. By TV (and general American standards) I am pretty average. I am forty-three, happily married and have two teenage children. I have known of my feminine interests since before puberty and have read everything I can get my hands on. I have dressed sporadically over the years, have gone through the usual purges and had a few fruitless psy- chiatrist visits. My wife knows and accepts reluctantly. She

is happy I've joined Tri-ESS and found friends with similar interests. She will not see me dressed but will discuss it and help me buy things. She knows when I'm going out dressed and is not particularly worried. My TV activity has blossomed in the past six months or so. It had been pretty dormant, I actually dressed perhaps only once a year. I began to realize that this was an activity that was very pleasurable to me and didn't need to hurt anyone else. I decided to invest more time in it, get some appropiate clothes, meet others, and in- dulge, carefully. I began with a public costume party last Halloween. I went alone and saw no one I knew. I met a number of people there, none of whom were negative and several of whom were very complimentary. Soon afterwards I joined Tri-ESS and managed to find some people to write to and visit. As many of you know, this can be a very satis- fying experience. Being able to put into written or spoken words all of these thoughts we have is a tremendous relief.

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MARY-WA-1601-M

The first time you actually tell someone that you really like to wear a dress or put on lip- stick is an incredible feeling. I've written more letters in the past few months than in the rest of my life combined. If you are not already meeting and corresponding, I strongly recommend it.

Even with the euphoria of meetings and letters I was pest- ered by the question "What next?". One thing is clear, my days of dressing only for the mirror in my bedroom are over. I have been exchang- ing pictures with people and have visited with other TV's and have gotten several compliments on my feminine appearance. I have been out to dinner while dressed a couple of times with other cross-dressers and have had noth- ing terrible happen. Well, if I wasn't going to stay home and if I wasn't going to become a woman, what middle route was I traveling? I could decide to confine myself to the "TV crowd" and only go to "safe" places where they expect or condone our activities. Or,